This hurts...

This evening, after about a week of madness at work-I decided to get Cutey and take her for a long walk.Thinking we both needed it.
She usually sits after me having to tell her 3 or 4 times.Not tonight-on the first one, she sat and got her snack.
She's usually hyper at the start of the walk-not tonight, she was calm all the time.
She likes playing with her stuffed fish toy- not tonight,she just wanted me to give her back and neck rubs.She didn't resist the hug I gave her.

This hurts because she has grown on me.I can't take her with me.I will ask a close friend for help with Cutey.She does need a better home.I just wonder if she can sense all of this.
It hurts, knowing that she will be tied up whole day and whole night,stuck with people who just want to give her away.
I will walk her as often as I can, give her a bath one day and let her play.